You know when you go for a while without panic attacks because there is someone always there. So, the second you are alone; it happens tenfold?
Yeah. That is what is happening right now.
It's no real one thing. It's a mixture of so much happening at once, and stuff that has been resolved, things that are still in waiting and the fact that no matter what I do, I am disappointing someone.
I finally did something I have always wanted to do, I dyed my hair blue. I am [insert adult age here] god damn years old. I don't need my father acting like me dying my hair is the fucking end of the world. That I "need to come home now."
I haven't lived with that asshat for years. God, he is an anxiety attack all on his own.
Home life is good, relationship wise. Something might be happening that may rock how we live for a while. I pray (yes, pray) that isn't the case.
I miss a quite few of my friends.
I want to eat some rice.
I think I am calming down. This is a nice way to keep anxiety down, huh.
Anyways, sorry for not updating more. I will ASAP.
- Rei
Showing posts with label general. Show all posts
Showing posts with label general. Show all posts
Small breakdowns hurt as big as huge sometimes.
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Weekend wooo.
So this weekend has been crazy as fuck.
Here is what I planned for:
- Read Crown of Midnight by Sarah J Maas to prepare for Heir of Fire
- Play a few hands of Magic with friends
- Stay home
- Write a review or two
- Post book haul
What actually happened:
- Read: Nothing
- Played so much that I lost sleep over it
- Was barely home
- JUST wrote a review after it sat in draft hell since Thursday
- Posted the book haul yesterday.
Normally this wouldn't bother me at all. Except I am sleepy but don't want to mess up my sleep.
I did get to make a new deck with Nissa, Worldwaker though!
Another problem is we over estimated. We are going to have to go to dire measures for the first two weeks this month, which means no birthday stuffs on the third. Which is okay. Stuff happens. I am more worried about how we are going to get stuff done. Theoretically we will be okay after the 11th/12th. September is a very hard month this time around. We can do it though. We are resilient.
I know this sounds bad, as much as I want them.. I half way wish I didn't preorder anything this month. We wouldn't be in this mess. I feel like a fool. I know things will be okay, as long as we are VERY sparing. Just... ugh.
I need to go before I depress myself again.
- Reisa
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